she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
