While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize