took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
