I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize