i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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