Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
