are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
