Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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