did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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