'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
