Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
