well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
