maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
