I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize