I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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