just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
