Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
