He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
