i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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