So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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