I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
