I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
