the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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