I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
