What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize