This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
