you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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