I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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