U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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