apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
