I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
