He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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