i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
