There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
