that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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