do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
