is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
