She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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