Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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