the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
