i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
