you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
