Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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