After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
please don't ironically join a cult
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