your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Even my vagina gasped.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
