Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
