p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
