Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize