He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
