Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
