therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
