it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
