I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
