anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This is my gift to your gina
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Someone signed my nipple.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize