careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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