1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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