brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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