LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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