His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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