i permit you to call me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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