I'm so fucking centered right now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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