is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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